Happy Election Day!

I voted this morning! Didn't take too long, about 20 minutes. My post from last election :) How has it already been 4 years?

Spring Cleaning

Sitting at my desk at work while there are several painters at my condo right now - YAY! Since moving into my condo highrise over 3 years ago I have wanted my place painted. I just never got around to it until now since the color wasn't anything extreme or painful to look at. However there are places that look like a blind person made a go at it, particularly in my bathroom. Subtle splotches and dings everywhere and around the ceiling edges not so subtle. So a creamy white a couple shades lighter than what it currently is is going everywhere. Ahhhh. So if all goes to plan by tomorrow night I'll be living in a newer, cleaner looking and feeling apartment. This makes me extremely happy :-)

My condo before I moved in and current wall color

Just read this article, Spring Cleaning From The Inside Out, and it talks about the meanings we attach to things we hold onto. Allison and I were just chatting about how good it feels to clean stuff out, which makes me think it goes way deeper than just getting rid of some old clothes, but rather a fresh beginning, shedding of the old and moving forward to a better and healthier version of ourselves.

Something I struggle with is constantly thinking, "Okay now that's done what else can I do?" Rather than just basking in the recent productivity, accomplishment or purchase I want more, more! I do this with just about everything, "Okay I ran a half marathon now time to train for a full...I bought a Michael Kors watch now I need new Tory flats...This vacation is over where can I plan to go next"...Why is it so hard to just stop and live in the moment and allow whatever has just happened a chance to settle and resonate with me? Sure I can say oh it's the culture we live in that rewards "more," but I think it has more to do with that all that stuff is part of how I view myself and feel validated. In addition to getting my condo painted I have a laundry list of stuff I want - New appliances for the kitchen, new curtains, a new couch, (current couch is a hand me down with a cotton cover) just to name a few...If I'm totally honest it's because I'm afraid of what having outdated appliances, Target curtains and hand me down furniture says about me, that if I really "had it all together" my appliances would be new and my furniture and home goods would be nice, investment pieces.

A few years ago when I did AmeriCorps in Kentucky I was required to do service projects around the state. I remember one brought me to Boonesborough, KY, the second poorest county in the country. I went with some other AmeriCorps workers and cleaned and painted an elderly couples' house. It was so sad to see how they lived, dust and spider webs everywhere and so dark and dingy. I remember them sitting there hooked up to some kind of ventilators. Not only did their house desperately need the work we did, but I hope it gave them a sense of renewal and injected some life into their home.

I really like this quote from the article I mentioned above, “Letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life.” ~Unknown

Maybe in addition to letting go of paint colors and outgrown clothes I can let go of trying to be who I think I should be, because most likely in the near future I will have formed a new perception of what an "all together" me looks like. Plus I never want to make the mistake of getting so focused on what I want or don't have that I take for granted all that I do have - my health, home, family, friends and job just to name a few, oh and freshly painted walls ;-)

Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure

I think I mentioned awhile back that I've signed up to do the 3-Day Walk here in Atl in Oct. Well today is day 1 of my fundraising efforts, as I'm sure you know because anyone who reads my blog probably got an email today :-)

Some basic facts about the 3-Day:

I'll walk 60 miles over the course of three days with thousands of other women and men.

Net proceeds from the 3-Day for the Cure are invested in community-based breast health programs and breast cancer research.

The research funded focuses on decreasing breast cancer incidence and mortality in the next decade.

I've agreed to raise at least $2,300 in donations.

Without a cure, one person will die of breast cancer every 13 minutes in the United States.

Every little bit helps! You can donate here at my personal page.

Thank you! :-)

Dealing with Stress

I read this on a blog today and really liked it -

A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience; with a raised glass of water, and everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?'..... she fooled them all... "How heavy is this glass of water?", she inquired with a smile.

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on." "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced.

So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night... pick them up tomorrow.

Women and Body Image

I know, serious post title for Etc by Ash!

Almost every morning I flip on the Today show and listen to it as I get ready for the workday. I rarely ever actually sit down and watch it, I just like to hear the news and human interest stories while doing my makeup and getting dressed. This morning one of the featured segments was a survey done by Glamour magazine called, "Hate your body? Most do, at least once a day." My ears instantly perked up.

They conducted a survey of 300 women of all sizes and found that on average women have 13 negative body thoughts a day, that's almost 1 for every waking hour. Basically they asked these women to start documenting every time they had one of these thoughts. None of these women were surprised by the numbers, but what they did find surprising was the intensity of their thoughts. It's not just our beauty and image obsessed culture that has fueled this way of thinking, but mostly that it's an ingrained pattern of thinking.

My cuticles suck!

Naturally this prompted me to think about my own thoughts and perception of myself. I relate with 28 year old Maureen from Washington DC. She always thought that her negative thoughts were a way of improving herself, calling attention and being aware of what she needs to work on. Almost like a mental "weigh in," I weigh myself regularly not because I'm obsessed with every little pound but it's easy to let it get out of control if you don't keep an eye on it.

So in attempt to bring to light the shallowness and absurdity, here are some of my negative thoughts that I have regarding my appearance and body:

*The universal I'm never skinny enough*

*My teeth aren't straight enough (my top retainer broke and I went awhile without it before having a new one made and my teeth shifted some) nor are my teeth ever white enough for my liking (Whitening strips make my teeth SO sensitive)*

*My pale, freckle covered skin. What I would give to not have to live life in the shade (Yeah I know that was dramatic)*

*And pale skin shows cellulite more uggghhh cottage cheese! gross :-( *

*I feel like my head shape is too oval and my forehead too big*

*If I had $6,000 to spend on whatever I wanted, I'd get a boob job tomorrow*

Alright I'll stop there before I get completely out of control. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that although I don't clearly think, "I just hate my forehead" while putting on my makeup everyday, it's so ingrained in my thinking that it contributes to my overall view of my self, and in turn my self worth, without me even realizing it. Kind of scary. And I consider myself to be a pretty confident person who is aware that constantly obsessing about appearance is just ridiculous. So I'm not looking for any kind of affirmation (No "You're so skinny and pretty, Ashley!" comments), but just putting myself out there because it seems like almost every woman battles negative thoughts about their bodies and looks.

Ways to combat the thoughts and live a more positive, healthy and productive life:

*Get to the core of the issue. The article said that the more harsh the thoughts, the stronger correlation there was with career and/or relationship dissatisfaction.*

*Be aware of your circumstances. There was also a pattern found in where women found themselves thinking negative thoughts. When I'm around certain people or an unfamiliar environment I am more likely to be critical of myself, like when I was in a trendy neighborhood in NYC I felt like the frumpiest person on the planet.*

*Exercise! Endorphins :-) And it being good for your heart and all that.*

*You are what you eat. Half the time I get upset when I eat crap not because I'm so worried about gaining weight but I just hate feeling like I'm not taking care of myself.*

Raw veggies, my fav

*Get perspective. All it takes is seeing a homeless or disabled person and I'm immediately put in my place.*

*Give yourself a break. Knowing me I'm likely to get down on myself for getting down on myself. Like my mom says when I'm complaining about my weight or how much I've eaten and the cheesy Matchbox 20 song they play in spin class all the time, "Look how far you've come!" (It's always the last song that we end on) By focusing on the positives, positive things are more likely to happen. You can quote me on that pearl of wisdom.

K I think that's enough rambling on the issue. I by no means consider myself an expert but as always like that keeps me from sharing my random thoughts ;-)

Really ABC Family?

Mysteries of Christmas

My friend Sarah has been telling me about these berry infused apples that she's obsessed with. She brought a batch to the farm and I've been eating them all week at work. Look how they're pink inside! And yes aren't you shocked to see a cupcake on my desk.

Why do they turn the heat on in malls at Christmas time? At noon today I wasn't quite hungry yet and thought I'd pop over to Lenox to get some odds and ends. IT WAS LIKE THE BOWELS OF HELL. I was wearing a short sleeved sweater turtleneck dress and sweating. And then I got hungry. Hot + Hungry = Me being over the top dramatic and miserable. But I got some good stuff! Can't tell though because the recipients are probably reading this ;) And I'd also like to know why some people seem to be completely unaffected by the mall heat and crowds. You know those people who walk at a .2 miles per hour pace and even when you try to briskly pass them they always manage to block you? I got caught behind a lady on the escalator who was wearing headphones and a giant puffy jacket and completely oblivious to my glare boring into the back of her head.

Why does the Macy's tree always look so sparse? You can't tell as much here but it definitely is. They should just get a fake tree rather than have a Charlie Brown tree.

Atlanta weather is just ridiculous. It was absolutely freezing earlier this week. So cold that my window refused to roll up. Fun drive in the cold rain in rush hour traffic after work. I got it to roll up by pouring hot water over it in the LA Fitness parking garage. My dad asked me why I rolled my window down in the first place, well I have to scan my key card to get in and out of my office's parking garage twice a day thank you very much. Now the weather is in the 50's, go figure.

I have blogged about my love of Uggs before and wear some form of Ugg probably every other day this time of year. But 2 times they should never be worn: 1. I've seen girls put them on right after spin class. How in anyway is this a good idea? Sweaty feet in furry boots? Ew. 2. Spotted in line at Starbucks, a man wearing Uggs. Completely unacceptable. I almost snapped a pic of him but refrained for many reasons.

Children's Toys - Better or Worse?

With the holidays here I've been noticing toys and other random crap I would ordinarily never give a second glance to. Whenever I walk through the kids section or see a commercial I am always shocked at what kids are playing with now.

I think we're all familiar with the skanky Bratz Dolls, whose skankiness knows no limits. If this is how much dolls have changed since I've played with them about 20 years ago (gaw I'm old), what are they going to look like 20 years from now?!

My office mate bought 2 of these FurReal Friends GoGo My Walkin’ Pup for her twin seven year-old daughters for Christmas. And how cute is she?! She barks and you can walk her and everything! I want one! It would be normal if I walked her around the streets of Buckhead wouldn't it? And I wouldn't have to go straight home after work to take her out. Ok if I get one of these someone please plan an intervention for me.

Now here's the dark side of the technological toys of today. McDonald's Fillet-O-Fish singing fish. While Tim, Shana and I were on the hunt for the perfect puzzle over Thanksgiving we came across it in Walgreens. And it was literally stuck in my head the entire weekend.

And this just pisses me off. What have they done to Candy Land?! The characters are ugly and scary! I found out about this atrocity while in Kohls also on the same puzzle hunting trip.

What was wrong with the original? The Ice Princess was so pretty!

And dear goodness look at the new Rainbow Bright -

God forbid a toy actually look age appropriate. I guess everything has to be "Bratzitized".

And apparently someone told Strawberry Shortcake...

That she needed to look more like a creepy slut baby -

Verdict on if toys are better or worse - Um, WORSE. Except for FurReal Friends GoGo My Walkin' Pup! She can stay.

Things that are getting on my nerves

In one of the bathrooms in my office building, there is an automatic soap dispenser. You hold your hand under it and it literally takes 5 full seconds before the soap comes out, so I always think it’s run out. I get a surge of annoyance every time and then I get annoyed at myself that I’m annoyed over something like that. Oh and the soap makes my hands really dry.

My morning commute. I live 3.3 miles from my office and according to Google maps it should take me just 8 minutes. WRONG. It’s not accounting for the 5 bajillion stoplights I go through on Peachtree Rd. While my commute is by no means bad compared to most who drive in from OTP (Atlanta speak for outside the perimeter/city), it’s just annoying how in theory it should take me no time to get to and from work. I’ve been making this commute for over a year and I still haven’t figured out the rhyme or reason behind the timing of the lights. How they manage to make them inconsistent is a mean engineering trick. Stopping and going for 20 minutes is a really fun way to begin the day.

Planted some parsley in a cup that I got from a grad school fair last night. (They were giving out all sorts of random stuff - I got chap stick from Emory, hand sanitizer from UGA, a jump drive from Kennesaw State) I said “Happy Birthday” to the little seeds sitting atop the dirt. Why am I so weird?

After I got out of the shower last night I looked in the mirror and noticed red marker along my hairline above my forehead. I don’t recall getting red marker on my hand and then rubbing the edge of my hairline. Oh and this was about 9 pm, so thanks to all my coworkers and friends for not noticing. I’m sure I made a great impression at the grad school fair. I think I’m going to start testing people, like I’m going to come to work wearing a clown nose and see if anyone says anything.

I just saw this on YogurBerry’s Facebook Page - "Pumpkin Spice Yogurberry has been introduced last week but sold out quickly, so we'll be bringing that back soon~! Stay tuned!" HOW DID I MISS THIS!!! I just called and harassed YB and they said they only had it on Halloween day and that they won’t have it again until Nov. 26 and 27 when I’ll be in Roswell. Why are they only having it for 1 or 2 days at a time?!

That The Office just isn’t that good anymore. It still has its moments, but overall is just completely ridiculous. Like last night when Michael and Andy spontaneously decided to jump on the bus with the youth group going to build a school in Mexico for 3 months? Yeah I think they’ve officially run out of semi believable storylines. But Angela getting caught with scones in her purse was pretty funny.

I know, I have it so hard. I will write a much more positive post soon, perhaps a “Things I’m Thankful For” post in honor of Thanksgiving that is less than 3 week away.

Ugly Shoe Trends

Snapped a picture of these beauties while out tennis shoe shopping the other day. Thankfully I've never seen anyone actually wear them in real life, but somebody has to because I've seen them advertised for what feels like years. Even if they were free and I was working out at home in pitch dark I wouldn't wear them. I've never seen a shoe that is such an extreme combination of ridiculous and ugly. How could anyone want their legs to be a tad bit extra toned that bad? (assuming they actually work and won't just roll your ankle)

Now I am a big fan of Uggs. Comfy. Casual. Throw 'em on and go. But to clarify I am a fan of them in cold weather only. Uggs or any kind of winter slipper boot with a jean skirt or summer dress is unacceptable, Britney! But at least she's wearing shoes.



Now onto a more recent ugly shoe trend, menswear Oxford shoes. This followed the whole boyfriend jeans look. Can we say trendy for the sake of being trendy? How much better would all these celebs look if they were wearing ballet flats or cute sandals? Except for Jessica Alba who should just burn that whole outfit.



Now here are some cute shoes! Ballet flats from Express I wore to work today.

Don't go to the grocery store hungry

Can't remember where I heard or read that, but it's true. Last night after I got off work all I wanted to do was grab something to eat on my way home and then vej on the couch and watch a few IQ decreasing hours of reality TV. Despite my workout bag I'd packed the night before, gym was so not happening (I have a new theory, I think if I didn't work out as much that I'd be skinnier. Seriously. The more I workout the more I eat it's not fair!). So in an attempt to be healthy I thought a stop at Publix for sushi and fruit would be a good option. I ended up getting a delish tuna avocado roll, sea weed salad, a bowl of mixed fruit and who knew that a new flavor of parmesan herb baked lays was going to leap in my basket as well as corn chips and black olive humus?! And feeling proud of myself for resisting the Wendy's, Jason's Deli and Moe's that I passed on my way home was quickly cancelled out when I paired my fruit salad with the remnants of a jar of Nutella. I know, SO bad. Today is a new day and my office mate is under strict instructions to not let me eat anything bad today. Except she did just give me her credit card to go get yogurt...

And poor Julia Roberts, it was SOOO hard eating all of that amazing Italian food in the heat while filming Eat, Pray, Love.

Fav contemporary author

is by far Atlanta based author Emily Giffin. She is just amazing. I have absolutely loved every single one of her five books, including her latest "Heart of the Matter" that I just finished last night. She writes about everyday relatable issues, but she is a superb writer and story teller that you can't put the book down until you have resolution on what happens to her characters. I think what makes her stand out from the pack is that any writer can entertain it's reader with a story full of unexpected twists and turns (ahem, Twilight), but what makes me enjoy her books is it's not your typical beach read "fluff." Yes she does fall under the chick-lit category, but definitely much more revealing and in depth than your average summer read. I highly recommend checking her out if you haven't already. And her first novel, "Something Borrowed", is being made into a film starring Kate Hudson, out in 2011!

Lighten up on yourself

Just read this article, Lighten up on yourself to have a better life by Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat Pray Love). It talks about how women strive to be perfect and never feel like they're doing enough. Yeah hardly a new subject but it had some interesting insights, like this -

"When I look at my life and the lives of my female friends these days -- with our dizzying number of opportunities and talents -- I sometimes feel as though we are all mice in a giant experimental maze, scurrying around frantically, trying to find our way through.

But maybe there's a good historical reason for all this overwhelming confusion. We don't have centuries of educated, autonomous female role models to imitate here (there were no women quite like us until very recently), so nobody has given us a map.

As a result, we each race forth blindly into this new maze of limitless options. And the risks are steep. We make mistakes. We take sharp turns, hoping to stumble on an open path, only to bump into dead-end walls and have to back up and start all over again. We push mysterious levers, hoping to earn a reward, only to learn -- whoops, that was a suffering button!"

Hmmm never thought of it from a historical perspective. I am also guilty of constantly comparing myself to different areas of people's lives. Like I'm jealous of this person's house, job, social life, etc. Another part of this article that I can really relate to is the more we do the more we feel like we need to be doing. Yesterday I went to The Container Store and bought some drawers for my dusty shoes (HUGE accomplishment for me), and of course just being in that store made me feel like the messiest person on the planet. The farmer's market this past Saturday made me want to rush to Home Depot and buy all the supplies for an herb garden. But heck I was at a farmer's market buying local organic food, that's got to count for something, right? And don't even ask me about my career path, because I have no clue. So, I guess the first step is recognizing these tendencies and struggles, but then what? I certainly don't have all the answers (or any for that matter!), but here's a list of things that help me keep my sanity/"Lightening up on myself":

1. Surround yourself with people that are good for you. Like there's some people that I enjoy hanging out with but I end up gossiping way too much and I just feel bad afterwards. You know the kind of people that aren't by any means "bad" but you just don't feel like your best self with them.
2. The whole work life balance thing. I do yoga or cardio right after work because it immediately allows me to switch gears. But sometimes you just have to give yourself a break. Like tonight I'm going to see Date Night with a friend because I just don't feel like working out and it's a rainy Monday.
3. Get away weekends. I love just taking a weekend to visit a friend out of the city. Or even just a day trip to the outlets, hiking, apple picking, etc.
4. Me time. I've blogged before about how weekend mornings have become a fortress of solitude that is essential to my sanity. Whenever I am super busy I don't even feel like myself until I've had some quality down time.
5. Lists. Something about just getting it on paper is like my mind is mentally releasing it. And to check something off is so gratifying, even if it's just picking up a prescription.
6. Animals! I read somewhere that petting something soft releases stress and anxiety.
7. Getting the focus off of your needs. Whether through volunteering or just taking the time to really listen to a friend's problems.
8. Eating healthy, drinking lots of water and getting enough sleep. This might seem like a no brainer but if you've ever read my blog before you know this is a constant struggle for me.
9. But don't feel too bad when you don't do the above, that always makes it worse for me. Hence the huge homemade caramel cake sitting right outside my office someone brought in today.
10. Diversity. Having lived by myself for the past year and a half, I've had to resist falling into a major rut. Like I would be perfectly content coming home after work and the gym every night and in bed by 9:30 or 10. And on weekends just eating out, working out, etc. So I am trying (strong emphasis) to find volunteer opportunities that are outside my little world, hangout with people I may not have loads in common with, force myself to be social during the work week, even varying up what kinds of books and blogs I read.

And of course BALANCE goes along with each thing. I'm by no means claiming that I do all that stuff, just attempting it. If you ask me about my big life goals there's a good chance you might not get a coherent response. But maybe if I lighten up on myself, some of the bigger stuff just might fall into place.

Take time to smell/eat the roses ...

Dear John,

I liked your movie, especially when I realized 5 minutes in that I had read the book. But I was just wondering, why must your target audience be so annoying? I just wanted to have a relaxing Friday night after a long week, but instead found myself in the scene from Mean Girls where all the girls go wild in the school at the end. Cell phone lights held out as if at a concert, extreme reactions to each turn of events, dashing up and down the aisles, even a few male jeers as if that made it ok that they were there, somehow all that didn't make for a pleasant night at the movies. Please make your movies less appealing to twelve year-olds from now on.
Sincerely,
A disgruntled movie goer

Happy Halloween!

My friend Allison let me borrow her handsewn ladybug costume! Even though I'm only like 1 of 4 people out of 130 employees that dressed up today ... Why miss a chance to be festive?!

In my perfect world...

~Mini m&m's would be less fattening than regular, and would never make me sick

~New Moon would be coming out this Friday, not in 58 days

~I would suddenly be amazing at kickball and pilates

~I'd be allowed to listen to Pandora at work

~Jessica Simpson's malitpoo, Daisy, would be returned safe and sound by the horrible coyote that took her :(

~The Grey's premier tomorrow night would surprise everyone by being really good

~Instead of Maria Menounos, an Entertainment Tonight Host, I would be in this issue of Modern Dog and that would be my rescue bichon ...

Dear Facebook,

I'm not sure how I feel about you anymore.

What do you use Facebook for? Catching up with old friends, looking at pictures, letting people know what you're doing at any given minute of the day or maybe to play a month long game of Scrabble? Whatever it is, I don't think I'm making a bold statement by saying that it's not going anywhere anytime soon. With a Shia Labeouf movie about creator Mark Zuckerman in the works and people of all ages now on it, I think the better question is, what's FB doing to us?


My personal assessment:


-Let's be honest, the people I really want to keep in touch with, I have your number, screen name or email don't I?

-Yes, I like looking at pictures, in moderation. A whole album dedicated to a night out? A little much. I usually click on someone's album and can't muster the motivation to click on individual pictures.

-Whenever I do a status update or post some pictures, I try to convey the best version of me possible, or it's something completely ridiculous that no one needs to know. (usually about what I've eaten)

-Birthday wishes from people that otherwise would have no clue when my birthday is, and that's the only time I hear from them all year. (I'm guilty of this, too)

-It's 4:24 PM on Wednesday right now ... (HINT: I'm not at home and there are probably some other things I should be doing, which means time to get on FB!)

-One day I was absent mindedly reading people's status updates on my phone. I looked up at my friend and said, "It's just white noise." I'd probably be better off watching infomercials, at least it's not stalkerish and constant info overload.

-The fine line between personal and private. What would I possibly want both my best friend and my former boss to know about me?


The Silver Lining:


-I guess it is nice to get the occasional note on my wall.

-And pictures can be fun, esp of far away friends.

-A funny status update has the ability to lift my mood.

-My officemate has left for the day and she left a post-it on my desk with the name of one of her single guy friends and "facebook him?" written on it. So maybe FB can be a catalyst to someone I would never have met otherwise?

-US Weekly, Gossip Girl, Bergdorf Blondes, Blogging ... Who am I kidding? I'm not exactly the spokesperson on quality entertainment.


Moral of the story: Moderation, which I obviously suck at.

The Way I See It

The Way I See It

You know those "The Way I See It" blurbs on Starbucks cups? I noticed it while sipping my latte this morning. It was a quote from Andy Roddick about how inspirational his big brothers are to him. Which led me to the idea of doing my own "The Way I See It's." Mine will be way better than anything Starbucks could ever come up with. Here is my first one: