Dear John,

I liked your movie, especially when I realized 5 minutes in that I had read the book. But I was just wondering, why must your target audience be so annoying? I just wanted to have a relaxing Friday night after a long week, but instead found myself in the scene from Mean Girls where all the girls go wild in the school at the end. Cell phone lights held out as if at a concert, extreme reactions to each turn of events, dashing up and down the aisles, even a few male jeers as if that made it ok that they were there, somehow all that didn't make for a pleasant night at the movies. Please make your movies less appealing to twelve year-olds from now on.
Sincerely,
A disgruntled movie goer