"When I look at my life and the lives of my female friends these days -- with our dizzying number of opportunities and talents -- I sometimes feel as though we are all mice in a giant experimental maze, scurrying around frantically, trying to find our way through.
But maybe there's a good historical reason for all this overwhelming confusion. We don't have centuries of educated, autonomous female role models to imitate here (there were no women quite like us until very recently), so nobody has given us a map.
As a result, we each race forth blindly into this new maze of limitless options. And the risks are steep. We make mistakes. We take sharp turns, hoping to stumble on an open path, only to bump into dead-end walls and have to back up and start all over again. We push mysterious levers, hoping to earn a reward, only to learn -- whoops, that was a suffering button!"
Hmmm never thought of it from a historical perspective. I am also guilty of constantly comparing myself to different areas of people's lives. Like I'm jealous of this person's house, job, social life, etc. Another part of this article that I can really relate to is the more we do the more we feel like we need to be doing. Yesterday I went to The Container Store and bought some drawers for my dusty shoes (HUGE accomplishment for me), and of course just being in that store made me feel like the messiest person on the planet. The farmer's market this past Saturday made me want to rush to Home Depot and buy all the supplies for an herb garden. But heck I was at a farmer's market buying local organic food, that's got to count for something, right? And don't even ask me about my career path, because I have no clue. So, I guess the first step is recognizing these tendencies and struggles, but then what? I certainly don't have all the answers (or any for that matter!), but here's a list of things that help me keep my sanity/"Lightening up on myself":
1. Surround yourself with people that are good for you. Like there's some people that I enjoy hanging out with but I end up gossiping way too much and I just feel bad afterwards. You know the kind of people that aren't by any means "bad" but you just don't feel like your best self with them.
2. The whole work life balance thing. I do yoga or cardio right after work because it immediately allows me to switch gears. But sometimes you just have to give yourself a break. Like tonight I'm going to see Date Night with a friend because I just don't feel like working out and it's a rainy Monday.
3. Get away weekends. I love just taking a weekend to visit a friend out of the city. Or even just a day trip to the outlets, hiking, apple picking, etc.
4. Me time. I've blogged before about how weekend mornings have become a fortress of solitude that is essential to my sanity. Whenever I am super busy I don't even feel like myself until I've had some quality down time.
5. Lists. Something about just getting it on paper is like my mind is mentally releasing it. And to check something off is so gratifying, even if it's just picking up a prescription.
6. Animals! I read somewhere that petting something soft releases stress and anxiety.
7. Getting the focus off of your needs. Whether through volunteering or just taking the time to really listen to a friend's problems.
8. Eating healthy, drinking lots of water and getting enough sleep. This might seem like a no brainer but if you've ever read my blog before you know this is a constant struggle for me.
9. But don't feel too bad when you don't do the above, that always makes it worse for me. Hence the huge homemade caramel cake sitting right outside my office someone brought in today.
10. Diversity. Having lived by myself for the past year and a half, I've had to resist falling into a major rut. Like I would be perfectly content coming home after work and the gym every night and in bed by 9:30 or 10. And on weekends just eating out, working out, etc. So I am trying (strong emphasis) to find volunteer opportunities that are outside my little world, hangout with people I may not have loads in common with, force myself to be social during the work week, even varying up what kinds of books and blogs I read.
And of course BALANCE goes along with each thing. I'm by no means claiming that I do all that stuff, just attempting it. If you ask me about my big life goals there's a good chance you might not get a coherent response. But maybe if I lighten up on myself, some of the bigger stuff just might fall into place.
Take time to smell/eat the roses ...
1 comment:
you wrote something serious! :) and someone commented in japanese. wow. this is a whole new turn of events for your blog.
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