Spring Cleaning

Sitting at my desk at work while there are several painters at my condo right now - YAY! Since moving into my condo highrise over 3 years ago I have wanted my place painted. I just never got around to it until now since the color wasn't anything extreme or painful to look at. However there are places that look like a blind person made a go at it, particularly in my bathroom. Subtle splotches and dings everywhere and around the ceiling edges not so subtle. So a creamy white a couple shades lighter than what it currently is is going everywhere. Ahhhh. So if all goes to plan by tomorrow night I'll be living in a newer, cleaner looking and feeling apartment. This makes me extremely happy :-)

My condo before I moved in and current wall color

Just read this article, Spring Cleaning From The Inside Out, and it talks about the meanings we attach to things we hold onto. Allison and I were just chatting about how good it feels to clean stuff out, which makes me think it goes way deeper than just getting rid of some old clothes, but rather a fresh beginning, shedding of the old and moving forward to a better and healthier version of ourselves.

Something I struggle with is constantly thinking, "Okay now that's done what else can I do?" Rather than just basking in the recent productivity, accomplishment or purchase I want more, more! I do this with just about everything, "Okay I ran a half marathon now time to train for a full...I bought a Michael Kors watch now I need new Tory flats...This vacation is over where can I plan to go next"...Why is it so hard to just stop and live in the moment and allow whatever has just happened a chance to settle and resonate with me? Sure I can say oh it's the culture we live in that rewards "more," but I think it has more to do with that all that stuff is part of how I view myself and feel validated. In addition to getting my condo painted I have a laundry list of stuff I want - New appliances for the kitchen, new curtains, a new couch, (current couch is a hand me down with a cotton cover) just to name a few...If I'm totally honest it's because I'm afraid of what having outdated appliances, Target curtains and hand me down furniture says about me, that if I really "had it all together" my appliances would be new and my furniture and home goods would be nice, investment pieces.

A few years ago when I did AmeriCorps in Kentucky I was required to do service projects around the state. I remember one brought me to Boonesborough, KY, the second poorest county in the country. I went with some other AmeriCorps workers and cleaned and painted an elderly couples' house. It was so sad to see how they lived, dust and spider webs everywhere and so dark and dingy. I remember them sitting there hooked up to some kind of ventilators. Not only did their house desperately need the work we did, but I hope it gave them a sense of renewal and injected some life into their home.

I really like this quote from the article I mentioned above, “Letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life.” ~Unknown

Maybe in addition to letting go of paint colors and outgrown clothes I can let go of trying to be who I think I should be, because most likely in the near future I will have formed a new perception of what an "all together" me looks like. Plus I never want to make the mistake of getting so focused on what I want or don't have that I take for granted all that I do have - my health, home, family, friends and job just to name a few, oh and freshly painted walls ;-)